Adaptation by 19th waver Maximillian Donghyun Kim

Intro:

Collaboration of the Catcher in the Rye with the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Synopsis: Holden was stuck in a mental hospital. In there, doctors and nurses visit him every day and gives strange pills every day. About to lose his mind, Holden takes bunch of sleeping pills and falls into sleep.

           I opened my damn eyes. Something funny must have happened. Because I was not in my room anymore. I was on a raft floating in a river. I looked around. I was in a place where I have never seen before. It’s strange. But still I was goddamn happy to be away from the institution.

           “Who is you?” A black man said to me.

           “My name’s Holden. Who are ya?”

           “I am Jim. What is you doing here?”

           “Oh, well. I wish I’d have an idea.”

           “Hmm… Well, dey’s reasons.” Then, he went inside the wigwam and called out.

           “Huck, Huck. Dey’s a stranger here.”

           A guy poked his head out. Well, I sure hell hope they don’t think I’m dangerous.

           “Who are you?”

           “My name is Holden. So, you are… Huck?” It’s quite sore to say things twice.

           “Huckleberry Finn. So, what are you doing here? There ain’t nothing here.”

           I told him where I was from and how the heck I did not like it there.

           “Well, can I stay?”

           When they said OK. I was damn happy.

           All I’ve wanted to do was to escape the damn institution. Look at now what I’ve got. Jesus, look at this whole goddam world. It is amazing, and nothing can go wrong about it. I lied down on the raft and saw the sky. It was clear as hell. Huck was watching me. Silent as a dead serious mouse. Now, I remembered the book the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Yeah, I damn loved the adventures.         “Where are we going Huck?”

           “Somewhere. I believe.”

           Still, it was better than going back to the institution. I will tear my heart off if I see the damn phony doctors again.

            I probably fell asleep. When I woke up I was sweating all over. Was this all dream? Damn it, I'd rather die than go back to that hellhole. What should I do? Huck was closely watching me. He probably read these in my eyes.

           “Holden, do you really want to go with us?”

           I hesitated. Maybe this was all dream. Or I may be dead in the real world. Huck handed his hand out. I took it.

           “Welcome, Holden!”

           I was so damn happy. Did the real me die or something? It didn’t matter. I was still confused but I just thought of having an adventure.

           “Nice hat you got.” Jim said.

           “Thanks”

           Good bye damn phony world!

Catcher in the Rye Adaptation by 20th Waver Hee, Choi

Catcher in the Rye.

20th Waver Hee, Choi

Intro: About KMLA.

           If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I am right now. I myself don't know why I am here, in this damn place where everything is full of phonies and inefficiency. The thing I'm really curious about is the reason why I made up my mind to come to this hell and plan to spend my whole 3 years in here. Maybe I was a phony myself, without knowing how inefficient and dull this place is.

           The first thing that I encountered when I first came here was the hanbok. Real hanboks are cool, actually. They look terrific with those vivid colors. But the thing that I am wearing here is too dark and old-fashioned that it makes kids look like a bunch of old North Korean defectors or something. That so called 'school uniform' can express every type of inefficiency that you can wear. It gets freshmen mad whenever they tie the funny ribbon and it took me 10 minutes to tie that phony thing on the first day. Plus, it is too long, that you need to grab the crumby thing real tight whenever you need to go up the stairs. The worst thing happens when the phony teachers make you wear that in the National Memorial Center or whatever. That place is phony as well, and it is full of that damn stairs, so I had to keep myself from saying 'sh**" whenever I tripped on it and fell over.

           But maybe the most irritating thing is that this place is horribly large and is full of slopes for Chrissake. It takes more than 7 minutes to walk from the dormitory to the gym, and takes 5 minutes to the English classroom. Moreover those slopes drive me crazy because I get exhausted after climbing them. And I'm quite sure that kids are pretty busy here, and walking without doing anything is a huge waste of time. That's why many of them listen to music with earphones while walking, but the old Headmaster banned it for some stupid reason. He says that earphones detach kids from society or something. That surely doesn't make any sense. But anyway, that's how I live in this damn place. I really want to go home before I become a phony person myself, but that will not happen till I graduate. Of course some parts of this school are fun but I get to forget about them after climbing the slopes with those stupid outfits on.

Adaptation by 19th Waver Jung Chan, YOON

Intro: About KMLA.

I ran down the stairs that led me to the track and the soccer field. Ignoring the few students and teachers throwing Frisbees at each other, I ran all the way to the other end of the soccer field, stopping beside the tennis court to catch my breath. It was that kind of an irritating afternoon, with dark clouds covering the sky, weighing down the whole air with gloominess and despair. As I passed by some very passionate teachers playing tennis (with passion I’ve never even glimpsed during classes), I felt like I was sort of melting down. You felt like the ground was sticking to your feet and your body was crumpling down like a syrupy sweet, making you disappear every time you took a step. Still I fought my way through the sticky air to my final destination.

At the very end of the school, like an ultimate stage waiting for you in a video game, was a horseback riding course. Boy, the stink of horse poop was too bad to bear. Several kids wearing silly hats and gloves were chattering away. Then, I saw the creatures.

Sometimes there are these moments where you feel like you are struck by something, and you can’t do anything but just stay there, overwhelmed by the power of something or the situation. I was sort of in that situation. The horse was pretty damn big and bulky, and it tossed his head side to side. It was trembling a little bit, but rather than shivering, it seemed like the creature was vibrating with power and energy, also shaking the atmosphere beside it. It was like having a heated-up truck engine in front of you. Anyway, the instructors called and made me put on a safety hat before I could ride the beast. I went over to choose a hat to wear. Among the dirty, stinky hats, I saw a silly-looking red hat. It was a hunting hat, and it looked really funny, but I decided to wear it anyways.

The instructor led me toward a pure white horse. He told me to touch the thing, which I really didn’t like because the horse was probably really dirty. But as it is always the case, I had to do what I was told to do. I reached out my hand slowly to the horse. Then the first touch. Again, it was humming with power like a massive bomb about to explode, as if it wanted to break through and gallop. But it was also, very soft and warm. Tugging its head lavishly, the creature insisted to move on.

With the help of the teacher, I jumped on and sat down on the horse’s back. I admit. I was scared like hell when the stupid thing burst off and started to run around. I pulled the goddamn reins real hard, which actually just aggravated the beast more. It galloped and trotted, turned and cried, running around as it wished to. I slightly heard the stupid instructor yelling at me to stop trying to master the horse, but to communicate with it, which was really annoying because it didn’t make sense. But after a few more minutes of struggle, my strength was completely depleted and I gave up trying to beat the horse. I was like a piece of sack on the horse, powerless to do anything.

But when I became powerless and I realized I couldn’t win the stupid thing over with my force, I began to use other ways. I patted it carefully, and though it seemed damn crazy, I whispered words of encouragement to the horse. I made suggestions rather than directions and orders. As I did so, the creature, or actually she, began to open her mind to me. As she galloped through the wind, we began to rely more and more on each other. I started to have a conversation that I have never had before; not with words, but with the dynamic movement of muscles and the slight touch of encouragement. We ran and sweated together. I realized that the horse is not a pet or slave, but a companion and partner. It was unlike relationships with people. Everyone acted phony, saying things that they didn’t really mean. I was disgusted by the stupid phoniness people showed. It was like talking to an old friend to ‘communicate’ with her. Maybe the world is wrong from the beginning; it shouldn’t have been ruled by phony humans, but by horses.

The Catcher in the Rye Adaptation By 20th Waver Yoonsoo Park

The Catcher in the Rye Adaptation

By 20th Waver Yoonsoo Park

Intro: Mixed aspects of KMLA into Pencey based on last part of Chapter 7.

______________________________

           The sound of the morning alarm song penetrated my ears as I opened my drowsy eyes. I felt more sleepy than usual, since I slept at 4:00 am last night. It was because of my essay which is due today. I wanted to sleep more, but I had to go to morning exercise. So I splashed some cold water on my face and got dressed. This school doesn't give students time for rest. Life in Pencey is an endless parade of quizzes and assignments, including our every-day-morning exercise. But there are some phony bastards called "Geon-ne-mi"s, who get all their work done. My roommate is one of them. All he does is studying, and he refuses to talk with me. He thinks that it's a waste of time. Well I don't care, because I don't want to talk with him either. But the part that I can't stand is that he never washes. Once he was horsing around our room, and I saw lice dropping from his hair. It drove me damn crazy. But he isn't the only phony guy in Pencey. This pretentious school is full of phoniness.

           Today, I heard from my advisor that I failed in every single subject so I got a warning. I didn't really care. But it was unfair, because the teachers don't teach us anything. They are a bunch of phonies who just sit there, doing nothing. The students are the ones who make presentations and teach their classmates. The teachers say that it's because they want us to participate, but I know it's because they're goddam lazy. All they care about is dough, and it's annoying.

           Anyway, I sat on my desk, thinking of what to do next. I got a warning, and one more of that means that I'm getting expelled. I didn't want to get expelled, but more than that, I didn't want to stay in this school. And I was pretty sure that I was going to get another warning next semester. Then the answer came to my mind. I decided to leave this phony school and the phony bastards. I got my bag and stuffed my things in there, preparing to leave. Even though my roommate didn't like me, I hoped he would at least say "good bye". But that bastard didn't even glance at me, so I just left. It was freezing cold outside, and I had no idea where to go. But I just walked and walked, because anywhere would be better than here.

By 19th Waver, Dongok Kim

Adapted from Chapter 20 

I just can’t understand those girls. The way they talk like, the way they agree on stupid things that seem to be goddam nonsense. Unless they don’t have brain, they can’t be that phony. Maybe they don’t know how to think their own way. Anyway, I fought with the phony girls in my school because I was just annoyed by their attitudes toward the teachers. They all agreed that the Old Mr. Headmaster is the phoniest bastard in the world. Well, it’s true that all the adults aren’t that lovely and smart, Old Mr. Headmaster is especially annoying bastard among them. I couldn’t just stand the girls keep nodding at Old Mr. Headmaster when he was talking in front of the podium at goddam Morning Assembly. Among the girls there was the headmaster’s niece so I couldn’t simply say what an old bastard he is. Instead, I said, “What a wonderful speech I’ve ever heard for chirssake.” Humans are smart creatures, and they should learn how to adapt themselves in different situations. And I’m very good at lying. Sometimes, I don’t even notice myself lying and when nobody stops me, I can even make up a story for hours.

           Feeling dirty surrounded by those phony bastards, I got out of the school and walked back home. On the way home, however, I thought my mom is in the house and she will be so irritated when she sees me not in the school. It’s hard to control her when she is actually angry. However, I didn’t feel like going back to the school full of phonies. And besides, I didn’t have any money to go somewhere else. So what I did, I decided to spend time in the playground in the apartment complex that I used to go as a kid. I still didn’t know if it was there or not. I have been so long since I last played in the playground. Then, something terrible happened. I’ve live in the same place for more than ten years and it was my first time to see no one at there. No single living creature in the playground. No yelling of kids, no sounds of laughter heard from far away. No toy cups or toy shovels rolling around the slides. So many things were absent. I couldn’t find any of those I used to see at there. 

By 19th Waver Jaeyeon Woo (aka Wendy, aka Sarah)

KMLA- adapted.

Adaptation of Catcher in the Rye by Jaeyeon Woo

I woke up early, earlier than usual, so I just came down from my bed and sat on my chair for a while, checking out for the weather outside. It was foggy oh or maybe it was snowing. I thought it was pretty, though I didn’t feel like going outside to enjoy that damn weather. Then I looked at the clock. It was 6:10. I thought I could sleep for about five minutes or more, but, oddly enough, I couldn’t. I stared at the wall, absent-minded. Then all of a sudden, that roommate’s screeching alarm irritated me and my thoughts blew up in a sec. Few minutes later I found myself heading for gymnasium to have goddam morning exercise or something.

            

             The morning exercise started with citing that school motto stuff and goal of English Only Policy as usual. For chrissake, I still cannot understand why we should recite them day by day. I don’t even understand how doing kendo for morning exercise and reciting all those phonies are related. Then in a high-pitched voice, Mr. Kim yelled at us to go out and run with bare feet. And he added that we should not complain since this is a long tradition or something. What logic in the world can make this possible? Bare feet on snow? In school? Damn. Anyways, I ran. While running, I imagined myself freezing to death. Just like how all those mountain climbers suffer from Everest and all. On the way back to dormitory, I realized that today was Monday and this meant that we have goddam 애국조회 in an hour or so.

            

*            *            *

             I stepped into the gymnasium since 애국조회 will start in a minute. You never saw so many phonies in all your life during 애국조회. Some people talk about their lousy grades by showing off how sharp they were. Some people gossip about senior’s love affairs and stuff which seemed totally meaningless. Most people do not concentrate at what that teachers are saying. I was looking at the damn floor counting the brown squares, which seemed more useful than listening to the phony speeches made by the teachers.

By 18th Waver, Randy Hogan Kim

 Randy Hogan Kim

“The Catcher in the Rye” Adaptation – Anecdote at Elkton Hills

                  I was sitting in the chair in my door when suddenly I realized how sore things would go.  I mean, this isn’t my first time leaving school and I’m sure that my parents would be mad as hell.  What’s worse is that I need to go to another new prep school where everything and everyone is phony.  God, it’s hard to know if you’re becoming phony, too, once you start living with a bunch of phony people.  You know, if you’re the only one who’s not phony, and all these roommates act phony as hell, you either get crazy and jump out the window, or become phony so you could live.  I know some kids who got crazy.  They were good friends.

                  Anyways, the weather was great.  Sure, Elkton Hills is a fine place, just that the school is bad.  Especially, Mr. Haas, he’s phony as hell, for god’s sake.  Once, he suspended me for whatever reason he talked about.  It was good to stay in the dorm all day for a few days, sure, but I hated that I was all alone and everything.  I wasn’t flunking class or anything and I didn’t like being in the classroom, so I really didn’t like being in the dorm.  Especially, on a day like this, staying in dorm is goddamn bad.  The old windows that look as if they were built in the Civil War don’t even block the sun or heat.  They just come right into the room as if the glass windows are not there.  I couldn’t use to stand that, but for today, I felt swell.

                  I finally got up, just because I didn’t feel like sitting anymore, and walked out to the hallway.  You’ll know if you’re besides me, but this hallway is long.  And there are dozens of doors facing each other.  If you pass by each door, you could hear all the things going inside.  All of them.  That killed me.

                  I was walking just for the sake of it.  In fact, I didn’t even know where I was heading.  I just walked around the school, imagining all the phony people inside the building, watching me through the windows.  It’s funny how most people don’t realize that I am watching at them through the window.  I knew that.  Somewhere, among the windows, there is somebody who is watching you.  It’s kinda creepy.  But I didn’t really care.  So I just walked and walked.

                  I was at the English department when I realized I was getting closer to the bus stop.  There was Mr. Antolini in the building, and he was the only person I was sure who wasn’t phony.  He even wasn’t phony in front of Mr. Haas.  That’s why Mr. Haas hates him like hell and always wants to get rid of him.  But Mr. Antolini is a goddamn good teacher, you know, and nobody who takes his class hates him.  That’s why I like him.  Just before trying to knock on the door, I suddenly felt sore.  For chrissake, I thought I was going to throw up.  I don’t know why, but I walked outside, passing by the no-running sign.

                  The trees and sky looked all fine.  They all were there for whatever reason they’re there for.  And they were graceful as hell.  I really didn’t want to leave.  I mean, I hate Mr. Haas especially that face when he told me that I should leave school and everything, but other than that, the place, Elkton Hills (not the school), was goddamn pretty.

                  I put on my red hunting hat and headed for the bus stop.  Maybe I should go meet Jane in the way to New York.  I waited for the bus.  It took pretty long until it arrived.  Pretty long.  Long as hell.  In fact, I don’t even remember seeing the bus come.  I almost felt as if I was waiting forever, then fly to New York in a second.  That made me sore.

By 19th Waver SuYeon Lee

"It's like umm about 7 or 8 years after the book ends. A future story."  - SuYeon Lee

_______________________________

Holden trudged the last two miles home. He saw the stars sparkling in the pitch dark alley. They were the only things that were shining. He didn’t look at the sky, though. He didn’t feel like it. He didn’t feel like looking at the stars either but he had to because the puddles reflected them. He sighed when he approached the front door. The door creaked as Holden slightly pushed it open. The living room was dim with one of the light bulbs dangling from the soggy ceiling. The stinging scent of sweat prickled his nose. He hesitantly stepped in a few feet and peeked into the bedroom. “Watcha doin’ there.” Holden hurriedly turned back to see who the voice came from. “Who da heck are ya?” The voice said. A short, plump man was standing in front of the fridge. He had no clothes on. He had some scars on his face and a tattoo on his arm that said ‘PEACE’. Holden sighed. “Holden? Is that you?” said another voice. Holden turned back again and saw Mrs. Caulfield rubbing her eyes. She stumbled out of the bed slipping on her night gown. “Did ya just sigh at me ya sunuvabitch?” The man hollered at Holden. He stomped towards Holden and 5punched him in the stomach. Holden groaned and collapsed on the floor. “Dave! Please. Don’t..” Mrs. Caulfield ran to the man and grabbed his arm. She squeezed his hand. “Show some respect, jeez.” The man dragged Mrs. Caulfield to the bedroom and slammed the door. Holden, lying on the cold, damp floor, glared at the door. He stayed there for a while, waiting for his stomach to feel better.

A door creaked open behind him. Phoebe poked her head out. “You feeling alright?” she asked, hopelessly. “Sort of.” Holden didn’t look back to Phoebe. He got up on his knees and crawled towards the couch. It sort of collapsed when he sat on it. He didn’t really care. The sound of slapping and moaning came from the bedroom. Phoebe rolled her eyes and said, “Is that Rick?’. Holden said, “No. She’s got a new guy again. Someone called Dave or somethin. Ever since dad…” He tapped his fingers on the couch with his other hand around his stomach. It still hurt a lot. “That goddam bastard.” Holden murmured. “Where’ve ya been? It’s half past two already.” Phoebe said, pushing her bedroom door wide open. “I got the chop, so I had a drink widda guy I met at the pub.” “Wudda ya planning to do now? Work in a shoe factory?” “Maybe. Maybe not. And stop talkin like that.” Holden glanced at the floor with his eyes half open. Then his eyes got enormous when he discovered a piece of used-up rubber. “What tha hell in that on the floor?” He asked, trembling. “Oh, that? I forgot to pick it up.” Phoebe said, stepping out of her room and picking the rubber up. She skipped past the couch that Holden was sitting on and put it in the bin. She turned back at Holden and saw him shaking. “Is that…mom’s?” Holden asked again, trembling even more. “Nah. That’s mine” Phoebe said. Holden stopped tapping his fingers. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He felt a sudden rage surge from inside. Inhaling deeply, Holden barely got up on his feet and dragged them towards the front door. He stood there, running his fingers on the doorknob. “Whereya goin?” Phoebe hollered from the living room. “The rye field.” Holden murmured. He turned the doorknob and shoved the door open. A gust of freezing wind penetrated Holden’s aching stomach. He stepped out and felt the wind slapping his face. He pulled off his red hunting hat and stared at it for a while. Then he threw it away saying, “Nothing to protect anymore. F@@@ that shit.” The hat landed on the cold asphalt road. Light came from the end of the road. It became brighter as it came closer. Holden suddenly leapt to the ground. The light crashed into him. It faded away as Holden lied there on the cold, hard ground. He felt dizzy like he was dreaming. He stretched his hand for the hat. He grasped it with all his might. Then he started to feel dizzy again and lost grip of it. He lied there, his eyes open, seeming to look at the red hunting hat.

Holden's Book Report on Peter Pan - Adaptation by 20th Waver, Hee Jin Kim (aka Stella)

Below is Holden's interpretation of the book Peter Pan for English Literature class.  Instead of writing a "normal" assignment which he thought would be "phony," he decided to put himself in Neverland where he gets to actually meet Peter Pan.  Did Holden actually read the book?  What will his teacher give him as a grade?  You decide.

______________________________________________________ 




That Pan guy- he was one of the phoniest people I’ve ever seen in my life. By ever, I mean damn ever; he’s worse than all those bloody Hollywood movies. The thing is, he manages to lure all those kids into believing in him and this crumby place. That’s just downright wrong, doing that to children. It’s like those phony kindergarten teachers who go like: “We’re going to have some fun now! So listen to what I say and let’s have a nice time together!” They always say ‘we,’ because they want the little kids to think that they are also going to be one of them when they’re actually giving out rules and trying to make the kids stand still. Hell, even I fell for that when I was little. But I know better now. And this Pan guy is a really, really advanced version of those phony kindergarten teachers.

The boys are alright. I like to watch them play their games. It’s interesting how when adults prance around, they look like madmen but when children do it, they look so damn happy. I wish I could horse around like that. Only I don’t really feel like doing it. You need to really feel like playing if you’re going to play a game. There’s that gut-feeling that makes you stand up on your feet and just go crazy. I want to play around like that so badly. Only I don’t really have that feeling right now. So I’m just standing here and watching the boys play, all the while thinking about that bloody bastard and his shadow.

It was that damn shadow that dragged me here. It just dropped me off then disappeared. Then that Pan guy came up to me and told me this is Neverland. I said nothing. It wasn’t that I was ignoring him or anything- I mean, he did look pretty dumb and soft and all but I didn’t want to hurt his feels. It was just that I suddenly felt goddam sleepy and for chrissake, you don’t just start talking about this new place and how you’re excited about being there when all you want is just a nice sleep. Anyways, I figured I should probably still be nice and all, y’know just so that that little kid doesn’t feel wasted so I said hello and said my name was Holden and asked how he was doing. The kid just ignored me. I figured it was pretty even since I also ignored him once so I didn’t say anything about it. I tried to go to sleep, but I suddenly didn’t feel like it, and I could only think about that stupid kid ignoring me. It didn’t get me mad or get on my nerves or anything like that but the thought just wouldn’t leave my head. That wasn’t my fault though, because you can’t just think that you want to think about something and think about that thing only. You always get this other thought sneaking in like a crook and mixing with the thoughts that you wanted to think about. It’s especially irritating when you want to think about a girl like Sally Hayes and those short skating skirts- not that I would imagine anything but, y’know, it just looks so damn good, and getting interrupted by something else while looking at something good, imaginary or not, feels depressing.

Anyways, that Pan guy acted sore. I knew he was sore because he turned his back to me, and that’s what those little kids do when they get sore at you. Since he was the kid, I decided I’d have to do something about it because you don’t just let little kids get sore and run off and do some weird stuff. I didn’t have any dough on me and there weren’t any shops nearby anyways so I just went to him and asked him if he wanted me to grant him a wish.

“Hey, kid, I’m sorry, y’know? I’m sorry and all for ignoring you. Hey, kid, don’t get sore at me now. How about I grant you a wish? Okay? And then we can be friends. Y’know, never ignoring each other and all that stuff. You good with that?”

He stayed silent for a while. I could hear my breathing and all, and suddenly felt like throwing up. I didn’t though, which was a good thing because the kid started to mumble something.

“Then become a lost boy.”

“Whaddya say?”

“Become a lost boy.”

“Okay, I’ll become a lost boy and we can be friends, alright?”

“Cool. I’m Pan, Peter Pan. Welcome to Neverland Holden.”

The kid smiled damn so hard when he said that, and I knew that he had been just pretending to be sore. But it wasn’t the children’s-play sort of sore, it was the phony sort of sore. I just knew because I’ve seen Phoebe pretend to be sore to get things her way, and this guy didn’t feel anything like it. Figures, since he’s probably like a gazillion years old, and he’s had helluva lot of experience in pretending to be a little kid when he’s thinking who-knows-what inside his head. Especially when he killed Curly. That just killed me. Curly was starting to get interested in girls and all, and Pan stated that Curly had ‘grown up.’ So he killed Curly in front of all the lost boys. He didn’t get a knife or anything, he just ripped out Curly’s shadow, and Curly screamed like those girls screaming at horror movies, and then he just dropped down still. It was just like that. He screamed and then went still all of a sudden. And that just killed me, the way he laid still in the mud like he was sleeping or something. But he was dead. Pan said so. And I would have checked for myself because that Pan guy’s so phony, but I just felt so sleepy at the time. Chrissake, I was so sleepy that I swear that I could have dropped down still like Curly, only I would be sleeping, and Curly was dead.