The not-so perfect aspect of the school I was kicked out of - YunJi Kwan

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Sub-title : The not-so perfect aspect of the school I was kicked out of

           When I came back, he had the pillow off his head all right- I know he would-but he still wouldn’t look at me, even though he was laying on her back and all. When I came around the side of the bed and sat down again, he turned his crazy face the other way. He was ostracizing the hell out of me. Just like the archery team at KMLA when I left all the goddam arrows on the subway.

           “How’s old Chulsoo Kim?” I said. “You write any new stories about him? I got that one you sent me right in my suitcase. It’s down at the station. It’s very good.”

           “Daddy’ll kill you.”

           Boy, he really gets something on his mind when he gets something on his mind.

           “No, he won’t. The worst he’ll do, he’ll give me hell again, and then he’ll send me to that goddam boarding school. That’s all he’ll do to me. And in the first place, I won’t even be around. I’ll be away. I’ll be-I’ll probably be in Seoul, the Dongdamun market.”

           “Don’t make me laugh. You can’t even ride a subway.”

           “Who can’t? Sure I can. Certainly I can. They can teach you in about a minute.” I said. “Stop picking at that”. He was picking at that adhesive tape on her arm. “Who gave you that haircut?” I asked him. I just noticed what a stupid haircut somebody gave him. It was way too short.”

           “None of your business,” he said. He can be very snotty sometimes. He can be quite snotty. “I suppose you failed in every single subject again,” he said- very snotty. It was sort of funny, too, in a way. He sounds like a goddam schoolteacher sometimes, and he’s only a little child.

           “No, I didn’t.” I said. “I passed English.” Then, just for the hell of it, I gave him a pinch on the behind. It was sticking way out in the breeze, the way he was laying on his side. He has hardly any behind. I didn’t do it hard, but he tried to hit my hand anyway, but he missed.

           Then, all of a sudden, he said, “Oh, why did you do it?” He meant why did I get the ax

again. It made me sort of sad, the way he said it.”

           “Oh, God, J, don’t ask me. I’m sick of everybody asking me that.” I said. “A million reasons why. It was one of the worst schools I ever went to. It was full of phonies. And selfish guys. You never saw so many selfish guys in your life. For instance, if you were sleeping and needed to go to the morning exercise, nobody’d wake them if they were some dopey, pimply guy.

Everybody was always locking their mind’s door when somebody new wanted to come in. And they had this goddam secret academy-associated intimacy that I was too timid not to join, as well. There was this one pimply, fat, but not-so-boring girl, A, that wanted to get in. She kept trying to join, and the girls were having no problem with her. Only the boys wouldn’t let her into their minds. Just because she was fat and chubby. I don’t even feel like talking about it. It was a stinking school. Take my word.

           Old J didn’t say anything, but he was listening. I could tell by the back of his neck that he was listening. He always listens when you tell her something. And the funny part is he knows, half the time, what the hell you’re talking about. He really does.

           I kept talking about old KMLA. I sort of felt like it.

           “Don’t swear so much.”

“It would’ve made you puke, I swear it would,” I said. “Then, on every Monday. They have this day, when we have to stand up for about a hundred minutes, that all the members of the school come together and sing the national anthem and stuff. And there are sometimes students who give speeches- and you should’ve seen this one old guy that was about to be knocked out of the stage, nearly. What he did was, he came onto the stage and asked us if we’d mind if he told us all to sit. That’s what even teachers are careful about! You know what he said? He said he wanted to question the school and the authorities why the reappointment of the principal was done without any notice, and he wanted to see if they had any hidden absurdities. So his speech was getting uncontrollable, almost. He kept talking to us the whole time, telling us how the school’s girls dormitory wasn’t still built yet and where did the money go. Boy, did he shock us! I don’t mean he was a bad guy- he wasn’t. But you don’t have to be a bad guy to shock everybody-you can be a good guy and do it. All you have to do to shock somebody is give them no beforehand knowledge while you’re giving them shocking information-that’s all you have to do. I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t been all out in the stage. God, J! I can’t explain. I just didn’t like anything that was happening at KMLA. I can’t explain.”

Kwan Yu Ji – 18^th wave