By Seokjun Dan Choi

Holden Caulfield, 18th Waver

This is an adaptation illustrates Holden as an 18th waver of KMLA. It doesn't really depict a specific part in The Catcher in the Rye; it's really general, you know. Enjoy~^^

           A tsunami of discomfort slapped me hard as the morning bell began to ring. Another corny love song. I mean, why the hell does the school play a love song when they ban relationships between boys and girls? It's just like eating meat vigorously in front of a bunch of Buddhist priests. Every time students try to forget their painful fate, the morning bell harks it back. The teachers probably want us to start our day with low spirits. Teachers, it's the way they are. They're obviously the evil itself.

           I wrinkled my third backbone, recalling the fact that a new week just started. Boy, did I suddenly get negative. Actually I am always pessimistic. Goddam the fact I have to wake up every day at 6 a.m. Goddam my Catcher in the Rye adaptation essay. Goddam Mr. Myeongsoon Kim. Goddam everything. I just happen to hate everything on Earth. Wait, I hate astrology too, so I guess I hate everything in this cosmos. I really do. It's quite a wonder that I'm trying to write this anyways.

           Well, right after I wore this cumbersome kendo suit, I found out that the time was past six thirty. What is with this school's time, I roared as I somersaulted across the goddam school to the gymnasium. The process was actually quite simple: get hollered at by Master Jeon, earn a penalty point, and get yelled at by Mr. Myeongsoon Kim again. God were those people loud. I don't know if their vocal cords were always that healthy or they simply want to make a fool out of me. They definitely woke me up, though. I really appreciate it.

           Anyway, after some sets of the phony KMS gymnastics(proudly named after Mr.Myeongsoon Kim), we 18th wavers staggered weakly toward the cafeteria. About KMLA's food, it's okay. No need to explain that. It's just one dang thing. The menu kinda repeats itself. I can feel it. The cafeteria ladies probably ran out of recipes, I guess. It is delicious to a freshman like me, but eating the same food over and over for three full years? No surprise the ramen consumption of KMLA keeps going up.

           As I practically threw my food on my plate, I heard a familiar "Hola!" from behind. I turned around to discover a fat boy talking with Mrs. Kyeongjoo Kim, our Spanish teacher. What a phony. He was doing it just to impress her. By the way, I wouldn't have said a word about him if he likes using Spanish. I caught him as an English Only Policy violator just yesterday! He then even swore about the school making students use foreign languages. And here he stood, a proud macho. I abhor dishonest guys like him. Well, actually everyone is a phony, really.

           I was reading The Catcher in the Rye written by J. D. Salinger inside my filthy room. The book was sorta funny especially its breakout character Holden Caulfield. I think I resemble him a lot. Anyway, I was really focusing on this part where Holden picks up a prostitute when my ho-mate Yeongwook barged in. There was no need to turn around to recognize him. His horrible stench of male hormones was quite enough. I endured it without a word, concentrating on the book. With a guy like Yeongwook, if you started speaking with him you were a dead man. You were a dead man anyway, but not so quick if didn't speak with him right away. His silhouette slowly approached me, and I could feel this weird tension get bigger and bigger. Boy was he a monster. I fixed my eyeballs on the goddam book.

"What the hellya doing?" he asked. He probably didn't know what reading was.

"Reading, duh."

           Yeongwook then shoved the book to see its cover, god would he just leave me alone. He then began picking his nose. To be honest, picking his nose was relatively a sanitary act. He'd done worse before. Yeongwook plucked a booger out of his goddam nostrils. He looked at it with a grimaced look, as if it was the dirtiest thing in the world. I guess he doesn't know himself very well. He would have committed suicide if he just looked at the mirror. Yeongwook then flicked the dang booger off his finger and left the room. He never exactly broke your heart when he went back to his own room, you know.